


D.VA's Dad

by ladyhawkss



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Joke Fic, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, don't take this seriously, inspired by a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 00:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17335433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyhawkss/pseuds/ladyhawkss
Summary: Hana likes Jamison but after bringing him home, it seems as if he's falling for someone else....someone else closer to Hana.





	D.VA's Dad

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. 
> 
> So I have included the photo in question in the fic itself right at the top so y'all can't miss it but two of my dear friends decided to create this wonderful screenshot and I had to make a fic out of it. It was just too good to pass up and let it only be a screenshot. This...this needed to be shown. 
> 
> So, take this fic I wrote based on this photo, based on the song called "Stacy's Mom", except it's based on the dad instead of a mom. Same concept though. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy this fucking mess of a fic. I can't say that I'm proud but it's 2k of writing that I will never get back so might as well. Please roast these two (@xxamilychanxx and @aurastorm) because they do things that warrant fics like this. <3 Thus, this masterpiece is dedicated to them <3 
> 
> (Also, in case it hasn't reached one's head yet, this fic is a joke fic. Please remove any sticks up any arses and just enjoy this shit fic. I'm a shit writer, i'm aware, but this fic I went to a new level of shit so I would recommend using my other fics to come to a judgement. Kthnx gg enjoy!)

(The image that started this all) 

\-------------------

Hana really liked Jamison Fawkes. Like  _ really  _ liked him. He was crazy and weird and funky but he had this energy that made Hana so excited and full of a new energy that only came when she hung around him. And all of it was strange too because she was the girl that all guys coveted after, yet she chose to hang around the guy who looked like a rat. 

 

For a while, Hana genuinely thought she had a chance with him. It took awhile for her to convince him to hang around her but they started hanging out more. At first, it was sharing mechanical oil as they fixed different robots and machinery. Then they started sharing fries at the local diner. They even managed to have stolen kisses under the moonlight. It was all innocent and sweet and Hana found herself falling harder and harder. 

 

That is, until she brought him home to meet her dad. 

 

Due to some certain circumstances, Hana got adopted by an ex soldier by the name of Jack Morrison. He was strict to the highest degree, spectating everything that went on in her life. Anything that she did, he would have to know down to the minute. However, while other kids grimaced at him, Hana actually appreciated him immensely. Ever since he adopted her as a little kid, Jack only knew kindness and love to her and not even her teenage hormones couldn’t rage against him. Plus, he knew her weaknesses so even if she tried to give him attitude, he would wave bags of doritos and her mouth would do all the thinking.

 

So, when Hana brought Jamison home, her first expectation was that he was going to be intimidated by her father but slowly, get along with him and start coming to her home more often so she could start admiring more parts of him than she did now. It was most definitely a romantic dream and in a way, she knew that things wouldn’t be perfect, especially since Jamison was on a new level, but she could hope and get lost in her fantasies.

 

However, Hana could have been further from the truth. 

 

The minute Jamison met Jack, something shimmered in his eyes that she had never seen before. Even when Jack brought out the gun and shoved it towards him and gave him a lecture on his daughter’s innocence and how he would go back into war just to make sure a scratch wouldn’t land on her, Jamison still looked at him with glimmering eyes and just slowly nodded, as if he was lost in a world that only existed in his mind.  Hana could tell her dad thought his reaction was off and weird but a sense of relief fled over her when he left with a grunt. 

 

For the rest of his first visit, Hana tried to get Jamison alone but somehow, he always wanted to gravitate towards where her dad could be viewed. Any guy would have jumped at the chance to feel the softness of her curves underneath their hands but Jamison...didn’t exactly have desire. Any mention of going upstairs was met with a “Hey, why don’t we watch a movie instead?” or “Actually, I have a funny video to show you.” It was strange and Hana noticed he kept looking outside to where her dad cleaned the grill. But Hana was madly and irrevocably in love with this boy. 

 

Which is why she burst into song when Jamison asked if he could come over once again. That anxiety she had of his thoughts dissipated and only acceptance could from her mouth. Plans rummaged through her mind and, despite her not wanting to, hearts deflected her thoughts once more. 

 

However, Jamison’s visit ended up similarly like the previous time, though Hana caught him staring through a window for what seemed to be trying to catch her father’s eye. That was mere speculation though. 

 

As time passed, Hana found herself getting more annoyed Jamison and finding that the hearts that stained her lenses slowly faded to dark clouds. But she also started finding Jamison at her house more often. 

 

It started innocently enough. Hana, after hours of practice, would come home to see Jamison (shirtless might one add) mowing the front lawn. And it wasn’t even done normally. He would wipe the sweat off of the top of his forehead while arching his back, showing off his chest muscles. Sparkles would shine off his tinted teeth whenever he gave a smile-and-wave towards her father (she was left with a “Oh hey Hana!” while continuing to mow the lawn). 

 

Of course, it didn’t stop there. In addition to mowing the lawn, he started to become her dad’s personal car washer. Every Saturday, at 11am, Jamison would be at her house in only his swim trunks, cleaning their cars. He would be scrubbing the cars until there was no dirt left on them, which took unnecessarily long. And whenever Jack would come out and bark at him to clean a spot, it was as if he lapped that up and cleaned it with a “Yes, sir!” and “Does that look better, sir?” and an odd shimmer in his eyes. Jack grunted in approval and Hana thought she was seeing saliva dripping from the side of his mouth. She also could have been immensely wrong but it almost looked like Jamison was sticking out his butt when getting certain areas, as if he was in a Burger King commercial while cleaning a car. 

 

Then, one day in the emerging summer months, Jamison asked to come over to place to hang out. At this point, Hana wasn’t sure if she still had feelings or not but when he offered to possibly go for a swim in her pool, teenage hormones rampaged and she could only say yes. 

 

So, that’s where they found themselves. Hana in a bikini and Jamison in his swimming trunks. Both of them laying on beach chair right by the pool, sipping on freshly made tea that quenched any thirst. They had swam around for a bit prior and now, both were allowing the sun to beam down on them, drying up any beads of water that cascaded down their skin. 

 

Everything should have been perfect and movie like but it wasn’t. Not even in the slightest. 

 

Jamison couldn’t keep his head still. Anytime Hana would try to speak, it would only be answered by a small nod before he tilted his head upwards to see what might be behind her. 

 

“Jamison, what are you looking at?” Hana finally asked, even turning her head towards his line of sight to see the same view as him. 

 

“Oh, nothin’, nothin’,” he grumbled out, still completely fogged up in his own world. “Hey, where’s yer dad?”

 

“My dad?” She asked in surprise, confusion mystifying around her. “I thought he told you that he’s on a business trip. He won’t be back until next week.”

 

“Yea, he did, but seems a bit too long to be on a trip. Yer sure he ain’t around somewhere, just hiding ‘r somethin’?” Jamison mumbled, his eyebrows furrowing in while still analyzing his surroundings. 

 

“Umm, no? He’s really not home. I’ve been by myself these past few days,” Hana’s voice started to become more cautious. 

 

“Ah, ‘kay, ‘kay,” Jamison drifted off, creating a silence between them until he brought his voice up again. “So yer usually alone when he ain’t here? He don’t have a lady ‘r something?” 

 

Hana froze for a second. His question caught her off guard and she needed a moment to process it. “Yea, I’ve never had an adopted mom or anything. My dad never brought home anyone or told me about anyone so I’m not aware as far as I know. I know sometimes he talks about Ana and Gabriel but they come off as more coworkers than anything else.” 

 

“Ah, so he ain’t lookin’ ‘round?” Something lit up in his voice when he asked that. Something...that Hana couldn’t place right away but she could feel her caution brining her there. 

 

“To my knowledge, no.”

 

“So you don’t know if he swingin’ the other way-”

 

“Jamison,” Hana interrupted him, making him shake out of his question and look at her stern face. Her eyebrows creased together and her mouth created a strict line. Even her cheeks puffed out in frustration and concern. “Why are you asking these questions about my dad? I know you might get along with him but what’s going on?” 

 

“Nothin’,nothin’!!!” Jamison bursted out, shaking his hands violently to wave around her accusations. Red brushed over his cheeks and tiny giggles sparked while his eyes tracked everywhere. “Just curious ‘s all!” 

 

Hana relaxes her features a bit more. Was there really something going on? She genuinely couldn’t tell at this point. Her feelings felt all over the place and she found herself being twisted and turned in how to go about this. She really did like Jamison but his behavior had been so odd recently that it darkened her view. She needed answers once and for all. 

 

“Jamison, how do you feel about me?”

 

“Huh?” He answered back, a bit shocked before coughing out a new expression and looking at everything except for her eyes. “Well, yer sweet ‘n nice and...and….” 

 

“Do you think we’re made for each other?”

 

A sweat drop dripped down the side of Jamison’s face. “Whaddya mean by that?”

 

Hana felt her lips getting dry. “Like….do you want to be my boyfriend?” 

 

_ BAM. _

 

“Well jee, that’s an awful serious question, Hana,” he answered, somehow using more formalized language in between awkward coughs. “I mean, yer a great gal ‘n all but my eye is on someon’ else-” he started to say before slapping his hands over his mouth, eyes widening at what he just admitted. 

 

“Who?” Hana asked curiously with shock opening up her eyes. She tried to control her voice but she could feel her tone quivering slightly. 

 

“‘ts no one! I swear-”

 

“Is it Lena? I heard she’s dating Emily-”

 

“No!”

 

“Amelie?”

 

“No-”

 

“Mei?”

 

“Well one tim’-”

 

“Lucio?” 

 

“No, but he does ‘ave good taste-”

 

“Angela?” 

“No-”

 

“Fareeha?”

 

“N-”

 

“Brigitte? Elizabeth? Olivia? Satya?”

 

“IT’S YER DAD!” 

 

_ Huh? _

 

“My….dad?” Hana whispered softly, her eyebrows raising first before her mouth opened in an alarming o. 

 

“Ye’, yer dad,” Jamison said softly, his voice already pitching to admiring heights. It was kinda gross. “Oh he’s great, Hana. The way he moves, the way he speaks….all of ‘t is like music to my ears,” he continued on, his hands clasping together while his eyes traveled to the sky, as if hearts were shooting out from every orifice of his lanky body. It was as if her dad made him drop dead and go straight to heaven. “He’s got ‘t goin’ on, fer sur’. He’s all I eve’ wanted and waited for,” he then turned to Hana and gave her a saddening yet lovesick smile that made bile rise up in Hana’s throat. “Hana, can’t yo’ see? Yer just not the girl for me. I kno’ it’s wrong but I’m in lov’ yer dad Hana.” 

 

No words would come out of Hana. She was completely speechless. Her stomach did flips and turns and she was sure to puke if there was anything left in her stomach. Stars began to spin in her sight and things blurred together like an oil painting in its first stages. Out of all the outcomes, she didn’t expect this but, in a way, she was a fool. She should have known the moment she saw Jamison sticking his ass out when cleaning her dad’s car or how he acted like a male model, leaning against the lawn mower. 

 

She was a fool. 

 

“Hana, yer ‘kay?” Jamison asked, his arms reaching out towards her for assistance. 

 

Unfortunately, her body spoke her as she passed out onto the cement ground outside of her pool. She couldn’t hear anything and she was sure damn happy that she couldn’t see anything. However, as her thoughts began to dissipate, she made one last prayer that Jamison would learn to stay far from away her since his nuts would have made excellent target practice for soccer. 

 

Then she scoffed at herself, acting like her father would and has done in the past. Hana sure was a daddy’s girl.   


End file.
